Born To Run: A Counterpoints Novella Read online

  Every time I’d closed my eyes as a kid and pretended to be a race driver, Cannes was all I could see.

  One day, I had always thought, one day, I will know what it feels like to drive on that tarmac, to leave skid marks and wave to the fans.

  I had laughed at myself for dreaming so big. But it was my dream, I was entitled to dream whatever I wanted. And that was what my heart wanted.

  Then I had a thought.

  Maybe Cannes wasn’t so impossible after all.

  “I am going to set it to cloudy, chances of rain,” Noah informed me. “Let’s make it a little more interesting.”

  I swallowed hard, but didn’t say no.

  You don’t say no to things like that, not to an instructor like Noah. From what I had figured so far, Noah’s idea of training was to push the drivers, push their limits and push their goals forward. And fast.

  Just as I was slipping on my gloves, Noah stood up and leaned a little forward.

  “Show them. Wipe that smile off their faces,” and just like that, he left me alone in the car and walked over to the control panel.

  Show them, show them, my mind was spinning in a loop. Wipe that smile off their faces.

  “I sure will,” I mumbled to myself, just as the simulation started.

  The first two were warm up laps. I took in the feel of the track, the pressure on the tires, the weight of the car. I felt everything as though it was real.

  I drove through the turns, remembering them by heart, their names, the characteristics of each and every single one of them.

  It didn’t rain at all and when the real lap begun, I forgot where I actually was.

  I was in beautiful Cannes- cloudy, slight chance of rain. Classy, legendary Cannes.

  Head down, I completed the task, my foot heavy on the gas, my braking points always pushed to the limit, just one mistake out of the grand curb before the straight on the finish line. Almost perfect, my performance had been impeccable. I dared anyone to say the contrary.

  Everything stopped, the lights turned back on and I stood, smiling wide. Two minutes and forty-five seconds it said on the screen. One of the fastest laps in the group.

  As I stepped out of the simulator, I took a good look around the room. Silence, no giggling.

  Not so funny now, is it?

  “Right, anyone else here feels like laughing or giggling?” Noah asked but nobody replied.

  They all just stared a little stunned, their faces serious.

  “Impressive,” Noah murmured.

  “Thank you. Is this the moment you tell me I can drive on track, too?” I grinned at him a little smug.

  “Not yet,” Noah said, as another driver took his place in the simulator. “Now, keep your head on the goal. Focus, you can be all smug later, when the boys will be taking the piss again. What I want now is you to concentrate. Starting from today, you are going to train for the next tournament.”

  I was in. I was really in. Suddenly I felt like anything was possible and I could really do this. Not just in my head, for real this time.

  Cannes here I come.

  Chapter 4

  Noah

  The laughing didn’t stop, my words didn’t have the effect I’d hoped. I thought giving a lesson to the trainees in the simulator would’ve helped. It didn’t.

  Some kept snickering and calling her names, while others didn’t even acknowledge her. She was on her own.

  For days I watched Vera do her best to ignore the guys, but eventually she snapped.

  “You’re all talk,” I heard her say, squinting at them.

  I checked on her a couple of times but didn’t interfere much. I couldn’t, even if I wanted to bite their heads off. I couldn’t protect her all the time. Even though I hated she was going through all that, I hated the fact she was treated differently because she was a woman.

  Idiots.

  All I kept telling them was to shut up, the kids were seriously getting on my nerves.

  Vera really didn’t deserve it, she was working hard, doing all she could to catch up with the rest. To be honest, she was above them all.

  It didn’t take me two weeks to understand she was worthy, I’d figured that out from day one – how she pushed herself hard, never complaining, always carrying out the tasks assigned. She was worthy, she was the worthiest one of them all. But she’d never hear me say it, she needed to see the Academy as her turning point and I needed her to work hard. There was always room for improvement, I knew she could do more.

  I needed her to channel all her energies towards the tournament.

  “Today we’re going to pretend it’s the tournament. We are going to race with go karts on track. Five laps, a proper race simulation. You all have an assigned number and vehicle. You’ve got ten minutes to get ready. Now go,” I told the group and they disappeared excited, down towards the hangar, only Vera turned back and grinned at me.

  What did I do? I smiled.

  Have you ever seen me smile? I mean really smile, nothing sarcastic or cynical.

  What can I say? Her excitement was contagious. Every time I put her in a car, she went all jittery and had this funny “I’m tough’, snooty expression on her face. I could tell she was putting all her heart and soul into this.

  She is determined, I thought to myself and I loved that about her.

  Sometimes you have the ability to do something, but you don’t have the guts to go through with it. Vera had both.

  Don’t get your hopes up, keep your head down, a part of me wanted to tell her but somehow, I couldn’t.

  Everyone had told me to keep my head down, from day one really and had I? No, never. Had I been disappointed? Yes, many times. Nobody had watched my back or helped me make it all the way up the ladder.

  But guess what? I had done it anyway. Because sometimes you need to keep your head up and push your way through, even when nobody wants to help or listen to you.

  “Make them listen to you,” was the first thing my father had told me when I had started racing. I took those words very seriously and I wanted Vera to do the same.

  Vera

  “So, do you have a G-string under that badass suit?” Jack, ‘the Jackass’ as I affectionately called him, asked me as I slid in my go-kart.

  I wanted to vomit on his shoes.

  “Maybe, who knows? You’ll never find out, that’s for sure,” I snapped back at him, putting my gloves on.

  “You could at least give us a little show, race in a skirt or something. I don’t know, bring us something to drink,” Jackass glanced at his friends and they all chuckled.

  How original and hilarious. How much more crap have you got to throw at me? Come on.

  I smiled and winked at him, pretending I wasn’t bothered but inside my stomach was twisted in an excruciating knot.

  “You know what, Jackass? It’s your name, right?” his friends chuckled and he glared at them. “You talk too much and you know what they say about men that talk too much… Nothing much going on under there.”

  I gave the saddest, pitying glance at his crotch- or should I say his non-existent crotch- and slipped on the rest of the gear.

  He was saying something then, as I adjusted the helmet over my head but I couldn’t hear a thing. I didn’t care.

  “Bla, bla, bla,” I mimicked. “Shut the hell up, you got a car to drive. Drive.”

  I was so sick of them, all of them. Nobody had addressed me with a simple hi or a nice word. Not even one. The only man there that was being a MAN was Noah.

  Why were they all looking at me like I was a joke the whole time?

  Jesus, I held on tight to the wheel and bit my lip. I knew it was going to be hard, I knew I wasn’t supposed to let it get to me but I was nervous about the tournament and I was fed up with all the crap I’d had to swallow down daily.

  I wanted to settle this thing once and for all.

  Jack was still being a jackass, he was still saying something to me, but I just stuck my middle finger up and told hi
m to sit down.

  “Come on, show me big man,” I teased.

  The karts were set to life and we did a first warm up lap.

  It was weird, as I drove through the track I started to relax again. It was just me and the car.

  Just you and the car, Vera. You and the car.

  Slowly we all took our positions on the grid and waited for the traffic lights to turn green. Reflexes, it is all about reflexes. That’s the only thing you need, to get a good start ahead in the race.

  I loved those moments, when your hands prickle on the wheel, your stomach feels like it’s going to cave in. You keep your eyes on the traffic lights, while your foot is one step away from releasing the brake.

  You sit in the car, knowing that everything depends on your reflexes. Not your thinking, not your knowledge. It’s all instinct. You sit there and wait for the light to turn green, the longest three seconds of your entire life, and it all depends on how fast you are to react.

  If you blink, you lose time. If your foot slips on the gas, you lose time.

  They say it takes a normal person almost three seconds to react, but it takes a good race driver under a second.

  I was that ‘under a second reaction’.

  The light turned green and my foot pushed hard on the gas, finding a space on my right-hand side. I saw the opening, I drove straight through it, without thinking twice, forcing two karts to slow down. All they could do was get in line behind me. I had over taken them and they hadn’t even seen me coming.

  Where are you, Jack the Ass? I smirked, putting my foot down hard on the gas. Another driver was forced to brake at a turn, either that or he would’ve hit me. I wasn’t stepping down. I overtook him and hit the curb fast, pushing hard through a straight.

  I didn’t know at what speed I was going and I didn’t care. I saw what I wanted to see and that wasn’t the speedometer. It was ‘Jack the Ass’.

  He was in the front, closing in on me, trying to stop me from overtaking him.

  But he couldn’t, not even if he wanted to.

  I kept my pace up and waited behind him, using his windbreak to my advantage, and after a couple of turns, I noticed that Jack had lost precious moments, blocking his tires.

  Someone is a little nervous, I smiled under the helmet and kept my head down, my eyes on his car. That was my big chance.

  Big chance to make him eat all the crap he’s been throwing at me.

  My go kart was already half way in front of his and the road was all straight ahead, I could already taste the satisfaction of beating him. Sweet, sweet revenge.

  Maybe he should be the one bringing me a drink, I thought just before something hit me and my kart skidded and spun around.

  I had to put all the strength I had in my arms to turn and head safely for the grass, so others wouldn’t hit me.

  “Son of a…” Jack, it had been Jack.

  He had pushed me out, hit me hard and I now had two flat tires. I was out of the game.

  And absolutely livid.

  I don’t remember much after that, besides being so angry I crossed the field cursing and kicking stuff along the way.

  All I remember was walking back to the hangar, no helmet- I had dropped it somewhere along the way, frustrated- and locking eyes with Noah.

  “Are you okay?” he asked me, but I shook my head immediately.

  “Where is he?” I passed by him and didn’t stop, not even when Noah called out for me.

  Jack the Ass had just parked his pretty little go kart, his pretty little ass in the hangar again and all I could see was that stupid smile on his face, as he removed the helmet. And I needed to wipe that smirk off his face. I needed to take him down.

  “YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE!” I screamed at him and he laughed.

  “Hello princess,” he said with a smug, charming smile, so disgusting it made me sick.

  “Fuck you,” I spat. I was out of my mind.

  Maybe I shouldn’t have, I should’ve let it go. Not just the words but let it all go. I should’ve just played nice and let it all wash over me. Only this wasn’t a game, I had no time to play. This was my chance and as far as I knew, Jack the Ass was killing it.

  He turned his back to me and I pushed him down. We hit the floor and I raised my hand up to smack him but I was pulled up fast. Two strong arms wrapped around my waist and eased me out of Jack’s grip.

  “Calm down,” Noah said through gritted teeth, holding me tight against him.

  I was still moving, my arms flying in the air, my legs trying to grip on the floor and run back to Jack.

  I wasn’t done with him, not even close. All I wanted to do was teach him a lesson, one he wouldn't easily forget.

  A coward on track, deserved a lesson in the boxes.

  “You’re lucky you’re a woman,” Jack had the courage to say to me, as Noah pulled me back.

  “You’re lucky I didn’t get my way with you. It’s not over,” I shouted at him.

  “No, this is over. This ends right now,” Noah said then.

  I finally managed to put my feet down on the ground, but he didn’t let go of me, not until my breathing was back to normal.

  “I want this to end right now,” Noah went on. “Jack, you do anything like that ever again you are out of the tournament, do you understand me?”

  “But,” Jack started saying.

  “No buts. Anyone says another word to Vera, is out of this Academy. Do you all understand? Say yes, Noah,” he searched the room and looked in every trainee’s eyes, the grip around me loosened and I straightened up.

  “Yes, Noah,” they all mumbled.

  “Good, now get out of my way. I am fed up with the lot of you.”

  The hangar was soon empty again, they all left without looking back at me. They knew Noah wasn’t kidding, he never joked about those sorts of things.

  I could feel him staring, but I didn’t want to look up at him. I didn’t want to see his eyes.

  Anger, disappointment? Had I disappointed him? I didn’t want that, god I didn’t want to disappoint him. All I wanted was to do my thing, why was it always so fucking hard?

  “Vera,” he started to say and I shook my head, covered my face.

  “I know,” I said but Noah kept talking.

  “You need to calm down.”

  “He pushed me out, how can I calm down?”

  “Maybe he did, but do you think starting a fight will make him stop?” Noah pressed on.

  I shook my head.

  “No, not ‘maybe he pushed me out’. He did, Jack pushed me out deliberately. He’s been teasing me since I got here, I am sick of him,” I told Noah.

  “Where is your shield? Where is your wall, Vera? Listen to me,” he began to say but stopped midsentence.

  He took a good look at me and placed a hand behind my back, as my eyes went down to my boots. I fought hard, but I did it. I pushed back the tears.

  I wasn’t a crier, I wasn’t. No tears.

  “Come on,” Noah went on. “Let’s go,” he said and patted my shoulder, forgetting what he was going to say before. Or maybe he just realized how upset I was and decided to give me a break.

  “Where?”

  “Let’s go get your helmet,” Noah said, walking fast to the grass.

  Once I’d picked it up, cleaned the vizor with the back of my arm, Noah called for one of the mechanics and held out his hand.

  Two, he also mouthed the number and the man waved back at him.

  “Alright, you’re upset at Jack? Let me show you how to deal with it,” he took my arm and led me to the starting grid again, as two go-karts were eased on track.

  “What are we doing?” I asked, confused but I had my answer, as soon as I saw the mechanic hand Noah his helmet.

  Oh my god, my mouth dropped open.

  “You are angry with him, you take it out on him on the track. Never outside, it’s unnecessary. It makes you look weak and it doesn’t do you any good. You need to learn how to channel your emotions,” he took
a deep breath and removed his long sleeve shirt.

  I looked down, I had to. He was shirtless for a few minutes, until the mechanic handed him a fire proof suit.

  Stop staring, stop staring, stop staring, I kept looking away a little embarrassed.

  “When someone pushes you out, you take note and do your best next time to kick his ass. That’s the only way to do it. Once you are out, you clear your head and work on the next race. Never show anyone they’ve hurt you or gotten to you. You don’t give a damn,” Noah went on. “Say it Vera, say you don’t give a damn.” He said, zipping up the suit slowly over his chest.

  “I don’t give a damn,” I swallowed hard and nodded.

  “Good,” he smiled a little and took my helmet.

  He cleaned it again and handed it over to me, never losing eye contact, my heart banging wild against the walls of my chest.

  “Now kick my ass. My name is Jack, make me eat dirt. And whoever wins this, buys the other one dinner.”

  You are going down, I grimaced.

  Chapter 5

  Noah

  After one hour racing on track, we were both stranded. And wearing the silliest grins on our faces.

  "Better?" I smiled to the side and watched her nod, her lips still glued to the water bottle.

  She swung back her chestnut brown hair and tiny drops of sweat rolled down her forehead.

  Vera turned to look at me, smiling wide.

  I'll take that as a yes, I thought.

  I’d won, of course I had. I was still Noah Laurent, even though I hadn’t actually raced in a long time.

  Ages, god it had felt like ages. Once upon a time I had promised myself I’d never drive on a track again. I promised that I’d spare myself the ache, the torture of reliving it all. I was retired, the end.

  And then this woman, Miss Vera Evans, came along and I just had to do it. I did it for her. But who was I kidding? I did for me, too.

  Twenty long minutes, she'd managed to keep me behind her for twenty minutes. No room to takeover, not one mistake, none. I just waited there patiently, right behind her, making sure she could see me, hear me. I was going to get her sooner or later. One little mistake and I would have jumped at it. So, I did. I managed to pass her, but not without a fight.