Born To Run: A Counterpoints Novella Page 6

  I had a blast, I let myself think about it once, just once and then I set the thought aside.

  I'd done it for Vera, that’s it. I was there to do my job, to make sure Vera burned off some steam and learned a couple of things, too.

  Rule number one: your enemies would do anything, anything to see you crumble. Even sell their mothers, to have their own way. Ignore at the time and then take them down slowly. Revenge is something you need to think about carefully, otherwise you fail.

  Rule number two: rub your winning in their faces.

  I liked both rules, but number two was my personal favourite.

  "I guess we all learned something today," I cleared my throat, keeping my face straight. "I am still unbeatable."

  “Oh shut up,” she stuck her tongue out and mimicked the word ‘unbeatable’, with one of the most annoying voices I’d ever heard.

  Hang on, is she making fun of me?

  I laughed and shook my head, before taking another sip from my water bottle.

  I kept my eyes on the sky for a moment, the sun was going down and the horizon was a mesh of oranges and blues.

  We were sitting on a wall, to the side of the track and we were just enjoying the warm breeze- or maybe it was just hot because we’d been racing for so long, we were both wearing the suits low on our hips.

  “I am sorry I lost it before, I was just so angry at Jack,” I’d felt her big blue eyes on me, before she’d started speaking but I didn’t turn.

  “I know you were angry but hitting Jack won’t get you anywhere. It won’t make him stop,”

  “Not even ignoring him worked. At least hitting him is some sort of consolation,” she eyed me to the side, as she spoke.

  “No, it isn’t. It just makes you look weak,” I saw her open her mouth to protest, but I wasn’t done talking. “It does, it does make you look weak. The best way to handle this sort of situation is pretend it doesn’t affect you. What have I told you about putting your wall up? Show them you are strong, show them you are cold blooded, then you beat the crap out of them on track. He’s trying to destabilize you.”

  Vera gawked at me.

  “What?”

  “He’s trying to destabilize you. He wants you to be nervous, to fail. The tournament is your big chance, Vera. Don’t let anyone or anything control you, save the energy and anger for next week.”

  She went quiet and I studied her in silence. The way she pushed her damp hair back, how she covered her face and took a few deep breathes in.

  She was panicking, she’d never tell me, but she was. I recognized the warnings signs. It hadn’t been Jack or what he’d said or done. Her outburst, it was all about her and her insecurities. Vera was scared.

  “I’m scared,” she admitted, as if she could read my mind.

  “I know,” I nodded and we locked eyes.

  The way her face softened, like a big weight had just been lifted from her chest just saying it out loud, I wanted to reach out for her.

  What the hell are you even thinking? I wanted to scream at myself. I didn’t hug, I didn’t have any contact whatsoever with my trainees. Then again, I’d never had a woman trainee before.

  Another reason to preserve those boundaries, to keep at a safe distance.

  I was just sympathizing or whatever they called it. Vera was so similar to me, it was like seeing myself, years back when I was at the beginning of my career and didn’t have a clue of what was to come.

  “Jack is scared too. He fears you,” I told her and she gaped, like I had just said the silliest thing in the world.

  I nodded.

  “He does, you are a threat to him. That’s why he’s trying to destroy you emotionally. Do you want to be noticed at this tournament or not?”

  “Of course,” Vera nodded, without thinking twice.

  “Good,” I said. “Then you got to toughen up, Vera. This is just the beginning. Remember what I told you the first day: it’s all uphill. The road is bumpy, it’s hard. But I promise you this, once you get up there, the view is amazing,” I smiled and she did, too.

  My words were helping her, she seemed to relax.

  Under the blue sky, I watched Vera tilt her head back a little and close her eyes, her hands slipping under her thighs.

  For a moment, I let my eyes wonder. I let them trace the length of her neck, stare at her fair skin, her chestnut brown hair loose around her shoulders.

  “Why does it have to be so hard?” Vera mumbled the words, her eyes were back on the orange, blue sky.

  I took in a deep breath before answering her question. I didn’t have to, it wasn’t something I could answer anyway, but I tried. I gave her my own explanation, the same words that had helped me push through the hard times.

  “Because extraordinary things are hard to achieve. But they are definitely worth fighting for.”

  I sensed her staring at me and I turned her way, our eyes locked.

  Breathe in, breathe out, Vera’s blue eyes were wide and alive, I couldn’t look away even if I wanted to.

  They held me, I couldn’t move.

  Something crossed her stare then and I manage to blink. I took another sip from my water bottle.

  Anything to stop looking at her.

  “Why did you stop racing?” her question was like a cold shower over my head.

  I avoided her eyes this time, I sipped my water slowly and thought of how to answer that. I wasn’t going to lie, but it wasn’t something I liked to talk about either.

  “Circumstances,” one word, one hell of a shitty answer.

  “Don’t you miss it?” Vera’s voice was low, she almost mumbled the question under her breath.

  “I do,” I nodded a little. “But I was asked to leave. Nothing I could really do at that point. Anyway, I am an instructor now. I try not to think about the past.”

  Vera eyed me and didn’t press on. I hoped my message had gone through. I wasn’t happy with not racing, I wasn’t happy talking about it. End of story.

  “You know what I liked about you?” I shook my head and let her carry on.

  What did she like about me? The way I cursed at the press? The way I ignored everyone? Me being an ass?

  “You weren’t perfect. You weren’t famous, rich, popular. You earned your way up and it showed. Maybe your drive wasn’t always flawless and clean, but your determination was ferocious. I'd never seen someone attack the way you did. I loved to watch you try, every time, even when you started at the back. You never let that bring you down, it was always a challenge against yourself, to do better. And when you were around, something spectacular was bound to happen.”

  I placed my bottle down and sat there in silence. It was hard to stun me, I had heard it all before – comments from the press, the fans, the so called ‘experts’ of the sport- but never had anyone told me that I wasn’t perfect and meant it as a compliment. But it was, a compliment.

  Vera was right. I'd made my mistakes and I wasn’t perfect- never pretended I was- but I had always been myself. I never tried to be anyone but me.

  My best, my worst.

  “Thank you,” I found myself saying to her and we locked eyes again. “I will overlook the fact that you just told your instructor ‘he wasn’t perfect’ this once,” I smirked and Vera giggled, her legs dangling down the wall as she did.

  “Oh, you are a perfect instructor,” she teased. “But come on, you can tell me. You do miss it, don’t you? You miss racing. I saw you driving today… someone was having a good time. That’s why I let you win.”

  She made a face and then laughed.

  I shook my head, just the hint of a smile on my face.

  This woman, I swallowed hard.

  “Oh, so now YOU let me win,” my brows were up. “You’ve got a lot of work to do missy, before you can beat me.”

  “Want to do it again?” she teased, a wicked look in her eyes.

  “Anytime,” I picked up the challenge.

  “Once a crazy race driver, always a crazy race
driver, right?” she winked at me then.

  And that’s when I had an idea.

  I wanted to give her some perspective, something to think about. Show her exactly what was up that steep, damn hill.

  Crazy, huh? I thought.

  “Yeah, well I am crazy alright,” and she giggled a little before I went on. “So crazy, I just decided tomorrow I am taking you somewhere, just to remind you what’s important, why Jack the Ass is not worth getting worked up for.”

  “But,” Vera blinked at me. “Tomorrow is Sunday.”

  “I know, my only day off and also the reason why I am completely out of my mind. But I take this work seriously and you, Vera, need to see this. Be ready at nine am sharp. My Pagani Zonda waits for no one.”

  Chapter 6

  Vera

  Spending most of your life convincing people to treat you like a man and then fidgeting, for almost an hour in front of the mirror, like only a woman can. That’s me. Hi, my name is Vera and I can be girly, girly to the point I make my own self sick.

  That Sunday morning, I looked in the mirror a thousand times, changed my clothes four times and in the end, chucked everything on the bed and wore blue fitted trousers and a stripy white and blue long-sleeved shirt. I had no idea where we were going, so I went for a casual look and took a blue scarf and jacket with me. It was autumn and the weather was unpredictable.

  I rushed down the stairs and just made it on time, drying my hair as fast as I could. I left it down for once, I always had to tie it up during the week while I trained. I wanted to feel like a woman for once, I had almost spent three weeks dressing as a man.

  Living like a man, eating with men, cursing at them….

  Noah was here waiting for me, his red Pagani Zonda was on- I gawked at that beauty before climbing in.

  I wonder if I could bribe him to let me drive it, I grinned and greeted him.

  “This car, oh my god!” my fingers brushed against the cream-white leather seats, then on the passenger door, my eyes studied all the buttons and leavers.

  “It was handmade for me, there isn’t another one like it,” Noah said, as he eased us out of the parking space.

  We were crossing the countryside and heading towards the motorway, but I was still checking out the car.

  “I wonder what the engine looks like,” I mumbled and then bit my lip, catching Noah’s weird look.

  “I wonder what the engine looks like?” he repeated my words out loud.

  I giggled and pushed my hair on one side. I always did that when I was a little nervous and Noah staring at me like that, definitely made me nervous. And confused, so confused. He didn’t let emotions out easily, his face was always unreadable to me, his thoughts a mystery.

  “What? No girl has ever said that to you before? That they wanted to see the inside of your ‘car’?” I accentuated the word ‘car’, using my hands to stress the point.

  Inside of your car, as in go home with you.

  “Many in fact, but that usually meant me driving straight home, taking them to my place.” Noah kept his eyes on the road, hiding behind his sunglasses but I saw his mouth twitch in a side smile.

  “Well, I am sorry to disappoint you, but I meant it literally,” I almost blushed.

  What? Am I flirting with him now? What is this? And since when do I blush? I absolutely don’t, like ever.

  “Back home I was a mechanic, so I am the sort of woman that would rather drive a car like this. No, I take that back,” I held my hand up, as an apology. “I’d like to own and drive a car like this.”

  Yup, that’s more like it.

  Noah nodded and smiled a little but didn’t say a thing. So I thought it was a good time to ask.

  “Can I drive it?” I grinned, making sure my eyes were as sweet as I could manage.

  Sweet wasn’t really my thing. Funny, yes. Direct, yes. But sweet, not so much.

  “Yeah sure, when you get your act together and beat the crap out of me on track,” Noah said and I pouted.

  “Liar, you’d never let me drive it.”

  Direct, yes, that was me.

  “That’s right,” Noah told me without even trying to deny it.

  “Well, you better have a good excuse for waking me up so early on a Sunday,” I teased as we accessed the motorway, my arms crossed over my chest.

  “Nine am isn’t early,” Noah said and I had to protest.

  “It is on a Sunday.”

  “Don’t you want to know why we are going to London?” he eyed me from the side just as we passed a big sign with London written on it.

  “Of course I do, why?” I blinked at him and my eyes lit up, Noah almost laughed at me. He could tell I was excited.

  “What Sunday is today?”

  “The Sunday I am not sleeping in apparently,” I teased again and he smirked my way.

  “Funny girl, focus for a moment.”

  I tried to concentrate but I was out of it, out of the world, I hardly knew who I was anymore, tired as never before, and I had nothing. I simply shrugged.

  “We are going to watch the race.”

  “The race?” my eyes went wide. “You mean ‘THE RACE’?” I had to say it again, just to make sure I wasn’t imagining stuff.

  “How many races do you think are on today, in London of all places?” he laughed. “Yes, the race.”

  “Oh my god,” I realized and almost screamed, but didn’t. “We are going to watch First Category Racing? Live? In London?”

  “The one and only,” he drove fast but pointed to the compartment. “Open that, take the passes and give me the yellow sticker.”

  I did everything he said, passed him the sticker and watched him attach it to the windshield of the car.

  It said: VIP access, First Category Racing- London Race.

  I stared at my VIP pass, gawking at the part that said ‘MB Racing Guest’ and wondered if Noah would have thought I was totally mental if I’d kissed it.

  Don’t be ridiculous, Vera. I thought. Maybe you can hug it, he won’t notice.

  “MB Racing guest,” I read and Noah grunted.

  “Yeah, I get VIP access to every race, but I’ve never been since I…retired.”

  “You know if you don’t want them, I’ll take your VIP passes. All of them, thank you very much,” I told him and he chuckled taking the second exit at a roundabout that had yellow little temporary signs, indicating the race parking lots.

  We were headed to the VIP parking lot, the police let us through the express lane and we didn’t even have to queue.

  What happened after that was so surreal. Walking side by side Noah around the circuit, was just madness. Everyone recognized him, despite the black shades and cap he had slipped on just before leaving the car.

  I didn’t say a word, not even when two journalists waved at him and photographers walked beside us. Pictures were being taken, I felt my stomach twist in a knot. I was scared I was going to throw up, because of the tension, but then we walked inside the boxes, the MB boxes, and Christopher came over to shake hands with us.

  I relaxed immediately and met his wife and kid.

  “I am so happy you brought Vera,” Christopher told him and they briefly discussed about the tournament.

  Everything was set, Christopher was bringing his sponsors, a few people he knew from the teams there.

  Oh my god, I am going to throw up, I touched my stomach and looked around me.

  That was what an actual, professional box looked like. People running around, working together, making sure everything was ready for the big moment.

  “Everything is going to be okay, I’ll deal with the public relations. Now sit back and enjoy the race,” Christopher winked but Noah kept his face straight.

  “I’m not stopping here, not in this box,” he shook his head, waving to one of his ex-mechanics. “Come on,” he placed a hand behind my back and led me up a set of stairs, at the far back of the stands and in a reserved VIP area.

  “Everyone is looking at y
ou,” I mumbled, looking around and meeting people’s eyes here and there.

  “Nah, they are looking at you. Wondering who my date is,” he smirked under his cool shades.

  “I am not your date,” my brows went up.

  “Yeah, you tell them. See if they believe you,” Noah said then, rubbing his chin.

  We took a seat next to two well-dressed men and a couple of women with straight blonde hair and designer shoes. They looked a little bored, sipping their champagne, enjoying the few rays of sunlight before the race.

  The way they moved, what they said, I could tell they were used to it, used to it all. It was just another race weekend, another glamourous event to attend, another after party with the drivers and all those that mattered. Nothing special.

  But to me? It was absolutely fantastic.

  I can’t stop grinning, my face almost paralyzed.

  And then I had another thought, my heart missed a beat.

  What am I doing here? How do I fit in here?

  I wasn’t rich, I wasn’t glamorous and I certainly wasn’t blonde nor sipping champagne.

  But I was like him. Like Noah.

  Even if he kept that wall up at all times, I could see right through it. I’d seen it on that track, racing against him, and I could see it there and then, despite his cool façade.

  I was like him and he was like me.

  We were two outsiders, we were the rule breakers, the ones that made others feel awkward. We were different, me and him, and it didn’t feel wrong, not one bit.

  I glanced at him for a moment, he caught me looking and smiled.

  That was where I wanted to be, only I belonged down there, racing in one of those cars. Just like Noah. First Category was my dream. My idea of a Sunday fun day.

  “I’ve never been to a First Category race before,” I whispered when the engines were turned on and the cars roared to life, making my chest tremble.

  “Never?” Noah looked at me.

  “Never,” I admitted. “Too expensive, my dad never had money for us to go, so we just watched it on TV together and fought each time on who deserved to win.”

  “And who deserved to win?” he smiled to the side cheekily, waiting for my response.