Born To Run: A Counterpoints Novella Page 9

  “Dauntless, untameable like a storm,” Noah had murmured behind my back, after I had gotten out of the car, eager to check my results.

  I’d smiled and felt my stomach flutter, his husky voice bringing me back to the other night, back to his place.

  No distractions, I had promised Noah after our one-night thing.

  “I don’t want to be a distraction,” he had been clear and he wasn’t.

  He was anything but a distraction, I wanted to tell him. Noah was one of the reasons I’d focused. I wanted to become so confident and strong like him. I wanted to become a champion like him.

  And okay, maybe sneak back into his bed, too. I snickered, while walking to my car.

  “Hey,” someone shouted and I turned.

  Jack was jogging towards me, with that smug cool look I hated so much, all over his face.

  He pushed his blonde hair to the side and smiled, as a couple of photographers walked beside us and started taking pictures.

  I’d had those around me since the other day during qualifications. It was like nobody had ever seen a woman behind the wheel. What was this, nineteen eighteen?

  “What do you want Jack? A last minute joke? Hey grid girl, ha ha ha. Now, scram,” I turned and placed the helmet over my head, but Jack didn’t move.

  “What?” I asked again and watched him look at me closely, before holding out his hand.

  Well if that wasn’t a joke, I didn’t know what was.

  Was he there to shake my hand? Really? After all the crap he and the other guys had given me over the past few weeks?

  “I wanted to wish you good luck,” he said and I placed my hand into his, as he leaned a little forward and lowered his voice. “I know what you are up to,” and he nodded, a goofy smile on his lips.

  “What are you on about?” I mumbled.

  “I saw you going out with our instructor. Going to the race with him, driving away with him.”

  “So, what? We went to a race,” I lied but kept my face straight. I knew where this was going and I hated the sound of it, the insinuation.

  “Nice plan, sleeping with him will get you a place in some team. But then what, Vera?” I took my hand out of his and watched his whole face turn into a hideous grin. “Are you going to sleep with everyone to get through the championship? Put a skirt on grid girl, hold my number up and shake that sweet ass of yours. Save us the time, save yourself the disgrace.” And he walked off, smiling at the press, smiling at the people on the stands, like he was a big star, a real sportsman.

  But he wasn’t. He was Jack the Ass, but I kept my mouth shut as I felt my entire body burn with hatred.

  “What’s wrong?” Noah walked over and immediately noticed something was up.

  My mood had changed and I was fastening my helmet with short, harsh snaps of my fingers.

  “Everything is okay,” my voice said the exact opposite, I was furious.

  “What’s wrong, Vera?” he bent down on his knees, so we were face to face, and looked into my eyes, demanding the truth.

  “Nothing,” I shook my head a little and smiled at him.

  His hand moved, like he wanted to touch me but refrained to. It was probably a good idea, not to touch me in public, not in that moment anyway. All eyes were already on me as it was.

  Not that I wouldn’t love to, I took in a breath.

  “I am just trying to channel my energy like you said and do my best. I have to win this,” I said and took hold of the wheel.

  “You are going to do great, you only have Anthony and Jack ahead of you. Play smart, smack them so badly, they won’t even see you coming.” Noah touched my helmet then and I gave him my thumbs up.

  I am on it Noah, I thought.

  Smacking Jack sounded so good. It just needed to be done, for all women’s sake really but it had to wait. First, I had to beat the crap out of him so hard during the tournament, I wanted him to step out of the car with all the frustration of the world on his shoulders.

  I glanced up to the stands and saw Christopher talking to a couple of big shots there. I only recognised a few but I knew they were all there for us, to watch us race.

  Show time, I said to myself and pushed the vizor down.

  The cars were all so close, I cringed at the thought of someone touching my side and pushing me off track.

  The first turn was right in front of me, I made sure I was on the right trajectory and braked at the very end, keeping the cars behind me in their places. I wasn’t going to let any of the guys takeover me. Not then, not ever.

  This wasn’t just my big chance, this was my little revenge for taking the piss out of me every day over the last four weeks.

  Anthony was right in front of me, I had to brake to be sure not to hit him in the second turn. His driving was a little nervous, I noticed how he used the brakes- too sudden, too early. It was easy to pass him, I did it without a hitch, before I’d finished my first lap.

  Only five more laps to go, I pushed the car hard, to the limit, my whole body shook every time I took a turn.

  Jack wasn’t too far away, I could see him clearly. His driving had been flawless until that moment. Until, I like to think, he saw me in the rear-view mirrors.

  “Surprise, surprise, fucker,” I snarled and kept the car so close to his, I wanted him to feel me breathing over his shoulders.

  I used everything Noah had taught me; there and then, I wanted Jack to pay for everything he’d said and done to me. I wanted to show everyone what a total loser he was.

  I deserved to be there, I deserved to race in that tournament. I deserved a place in a team and that position he was in, it was mine. I wanted it and I was going to take it from him. I was going to finish the race first.

  There wasn’t much time, only two laps to go, but I kept my focus, my eyes on Jack, until I saw an opening. Just before the big straight on the grid line, Jack made the mistake of leaving too much space for me on the outside of the turn.

  I saw the gap at the corner of my eyes and jumped at it. I braked at the very end, turning right then left again, side by side with him, keeping my foot on the accelerator.

  No space, I left him none. Jack couldn’t do much but stand down and see me drive in front of him fast, running through the straight, preparing my next turn, my last lap.

  I was ahead, I was in the front and I was panting.

  One more lap, one more lap. Keep it together, one more lap. Jack was right behind me, so close I knew he was trying to pressure me to make a mistake.

  Concentrate, I kept my eyes ahead and didn’t check what he was doing, until I saw him on my right side, just before we approached a left turn and cursed under my breath.

  What the hell is he doing?

  It was completely wrong, absolutely impossible to overtake there. He was mad, our tires were too close, they almost touched.

  I felt a lump in my throat then, as panicked surged through me, afraid he would push me out again.

  I am not scared, I am not scared of you.

  My hands gripped tighter on the wheel and, just before I turned left, I saw Jack brake nervously. He did the only thing he could do then.

  Step down, he had to let me drive through, as we headed for the last straight and finished the race.

  “Ahhhhhh,” I screamed to the top of my lungs. “YESS!!!! YESSS!!!!”

  I laughed so hard, it echoed in my ears.

  One hand curled into a fist, I drove past the stands and headed for the boxes.

  I showed them, I showed them all, I wanted to scream.

  I laughed and cried during the entire drive through, letting out all the frustration, the tension and worry I had inside.

  At some point out the corner of my eye, I saw Jack drive beside me, his head turned in my direction.

  If only I could’ve showed him my middle finger, but it wouldn’t have been right or politically correct. Too many people watching.

  Noah would’ve done it, I grinned and decided to just wave.

  Surpris
ed? He just stared at me like the knob head that he was.

  As I parked the car in the box, my legs began to shake, seeing all those people clap. They were clapping us, they were clapping me.

  Surreal.

  I was fast, my feet seemed to never touch the ground as I made my way to the podium. I wore the biggest smile I could manage and I didn’t need to look back to know that Jack was walking right behind me with the third place driver, Steve. I could feel them staring.

  Stare away, twats.

  The first race was over and I was on top. There were more challenges scheduled for the day, but I had set things straight from the very beginning. I had sent the message.

  Loud and clear, Wankers!

  No more messing with me, because I was more than ready to mess with them.

  As photographers took pictures of us and our trophies, Jack stood beside me but never looked my way. His jaw twitched a couple of times, before I leaned a little to the side and spoke to him.

  “I think I like you better like this, no smile on your face. Disappointment suits you,” I was a total bitch, but I gave him exactly what was expected of me.

  The Bitch.

  “Go fuck yourself, it’s just the first race of the tournament. Why don’t you go suck on someone else that can help your way up,” he shrugged it off, like it didn’t mean a thing to him, but it did. Oh, I knew it did.

  First impressions, I had stolen his first place.

  “I don’t need to suck anyone to smack your little bottom on track. I can do it with my eyes closed.”

  “Maybe, but I’ll make it to First Category Racing anyway,” he grunted, looking at me, really looking at me for the first time since we had crossed the finish line. Then he glared and moved in for the final kill “But you? You can forget about it. They’ll never let you race.”

  Chapter 9

  Noah

  Nothing upsets me more than people telling me to be patient.

  Patience, patience. Everything in life is about patience and waiting and that’s why I hate pretty much anything. I hate waiting, I have very little patience, if none. I want it all and sooner than now.

  How soon is now?

  Christopher had spent the whole afternoon chatting with people and he was finally in a meeting with some of the sponsors and managers from the tournament. He had taken three trainees with him- to some restaurant, I couldn’t recall where- and one of those was Vera.

  She aced it, I closed my eyes and my hands curled into a fist. Like a freakin’ pro.

  She’d been absolutely brilliant, just like I knew she would.

  Her times had always been amongst the best, she was up there in the top five.

  I knew it, I knew she’d have the guts to go through with it. If only it was just a matter of talent and performance. It was now up to Christopher and his ability to convince people that his ideas were good.

  Clearing my head was so hard. I tried not to think too much, because to me thinking was like hoping. I had agreed to train Vera, knowing disappointment was around the corner. Not because she wasn’t able to race, but because the circumstances were particular in her situation.

  You know how things work, you know chances are high she won’t get in. Get a grip, you twat.

  There was only one thing and one thing only that could keep me busy, to stop me from thinking. It was already six pm and the Academy was deserted, when I decided to head over to the hangar.

  There were a couple of cars there that needed assistance after the tournament. I started to walk around them, looking for something to fix, something to analyse. I wasn’t a mechanic, but I hadn’t forgotten how to do it. Growing up, before I had an entourage, I had fixed my own karts, gotten my hands dirty.

  Bolts and tools in hand, I began to unscrew the front part of one of the cars. It had been half bent and cracked, during an accident at the start line. Not much could be done, besides trash that part and replace it with a new one. Normally our team of mechanics would have handled it the following day, but I needed the distraction.

  Mechanics are going to be furious at me tomorrow for touching the cars, I thought but that didn’t stop anyway.

  The front part was already unscrewed and on the floor when I noticed Vera standing at the door.

  She had this beautiful smile on her lips but she was quiet, I wondered how long she had been there, staring at me. Vera tilted her head to the side and walked slowly towards me, her eyes dropping down to my hands, my rough hands and bare arms.

  I dropped everything and looked at her expectantly, but Vera didn’t speak until she was right in front of me.

  “I went to your house, looking for you… then Paulie at the reception told me you were still here,” she said and I nodded. “What are you doing here?”

  “Waiting for you,” I held her stare and watched her look down and smile.

  Then her wide blue eyes searched mine and she nodded.

  “I am in.”

  My mouth opened to speak but I waited for her to carry on.

  “I got a place. They offered me a place in Second Category this year, with a chance to move up to First next year. And I said yes.”

  “You did it,” I murmured.

  Vera nodded again and moved in for a hug, leaning her chest against mine.

  “We did it,” she whispered, as her hands snaked behind my neck.

  I hesitate, my arms down to my sides, unsure of my next move.

  It wasn’t about what I wanted, it was about what was right and what needed to be done.

  Just hold her, you son of a….and I did, I held her tight, staring ahead, as she snuggled under my chin for a moment.

  Touch her, let her touch you, for the last time, I told myself.

  “I came here to tell you immediately, I couldn’t wait,” she whispered.

  “I am so proud of you, I knew you could do it,” I kept my voice flat and disciplined my heart.

  Enough, enough.

  I took her shoulders and stepped back.

  “Vera,” I said then, not really sure what I wanted to say.

  Put a stop to it, carry on with your life and, whatever it is we are doing, stop it from happening.

  She tilted her head up, her hands curling around my arms, and she stared at me, lips parted.

  I took a good look at her, how incredibly beautiful she was. Her hair was down on one side, her eyes were half closed, her lips were sensuous and screaming to be kissed.

  But I didn’t kiss her. I didn’t say what I wanted to say either.

  “When are you leaving?” I asked.

  Vera frowned and pursed her lips, but her grip remained firm around my arms.

  “Tomorrow evening,” she said and I didn’t even press on, I didn’t even ask her which team had offered a place.

  The only thing I could think of was saying goodbye.

  Let her go, no hopes. Just let her go.

  “I want you to listen to me,” I said and watched her nod. “I want you to put all your energies and attention into this. No distractions, I mean it Vera. The Academy was just the first step. Now the game is on, the real game. No messing around, don’t let anyone bring you down. Don’t take no for an answer, when you know you’ve been wronged. This is your chance and it deserves your full attention.”

  I hoped I had made myself clear, that I didn’t need to say anything out loud. I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to tell her to put distance between us, to stop holding me like that.

  I sucked at lying and pretending. And telling Vera to let me go was lying, but telling her to keep fighting for her goal, was the truth. So I used that truth and pressed on.

  “You were born to run. Now you can show everyone what you are made of. Go, go do your thing,” I said and inevitably her hold around me loosened.

  She looked at my arms, as they slowly slid down to my sides again and she nodded, biting her lip.

  I want to bite that lip, I thought for an instant.

  “Thank you for believing in me, for tel
ling me I could do it and for everything you’ve done for me. For pushing me to do better every day. Your words, I will never forget them.” Vera smiled and her arm went up, her hand found my cheek.

  I felt the tips of her fingers against my skin, around my mouth, just before she leaned in and kissed my lips gently.

  My eyes closed, my hands went searching for her face. I let the kiss happen, I let my mind drift for a moment.

  Soft, warm, sweet, she tasted amazing, but I let her go. I opened my eyes and hers were already open, like she was studying me, making sure she remembered every little thing about me. The lines on my forehead, my sharp jaw, my dark eyes, I watched her stare linger from one thing to another, until our eyes met again.

  “I don’t want to say goodbye like this,” she said and sighed.

  Who the fuck am I kidding, I don’t want to say goodbye like this either.

  But I kept it together, kept my foot down and did what was right, not what me the asshole wanted – take her home with me- but what was right for my trainee, for Vera Evans.

  “It’s not a goodbye, we’ll meet again. But I think it’s best if you go now,” my hand caressed her cheek once more and then I did it.

  I stepped back and waited for her to do the same.

  Come on, Vera. Go, go, I willed her.

  And just when I thought I had her all figured out, she smiled at me like we weren’t parting ways. She moved closer instead, reaching for the front of my shirt.

  She tugged it a little and looked at me, biting her lip. This weird look played on her face, I couldn’t quite understand if she wanted to hit me or kiss me.

  Maybe a little bit of both.

  “Thank you,” she told me again and I stood there speechless, like a total fool and didn’t say a word. Not a single thing.

  Don’t say a thing, let her go.

  I watched her turn, head for the door but Vera stopped on her way out, looking back at me again.

  “Will you come and watch me race sometime?” she asked and I nodded but didn’t trust myself enough to speak.

  Then, Vera smiled and was out of the door. She was gone, she was out of my life.

  I couldn’t carry on with what I was doing, I left everything on the floor, the tools, the broken parts. I left them all there.